Relationship Jokes

Having A Baby Is Like

What a mother once told her teenage daughter about how it felt to have a baby: "It's kinda like trying to pass a watermelon through a keyhole."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bragging

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Every Precaution

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy,"  Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous