U.S. State Jokes - Ohio Jokes
NEWS FLASH: Terrorists...
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in one of the neighborhoods in Detroit, MI. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. Police Officials have detained the following terrorists on civil unrest issues:
1: Bin Sleepin
2: Bin Drinkin
3: Bin Fightin
The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, anywhere in the neighborhood. Police are very confident that anyone who looks like Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. No further information available.
Q: How did Cleveland's 'Masochist Stadium' get its nickname?
A: Because if you expect the worst you'll never be disappointed.
New York to San Francisco
A man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far as Cleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was told to say 10,000 Hail Mary's. So he went on driving and praying. By the time he got through with the 10,000 Hail Mary's, he was approaching San Francisco. Suddenly he realized he was terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute, and had an orgy. Again there was a severe guilt reaction, so he went to confession. It was an old Irish priest who said, "For penance say three Hail Mary's". The man said, "What?? In Cleveland, I had to say 10,000 Hail Mary's for the same thing. Father replied quietly, "Sure now, and what would they know about fucking in Cleveland?".
Summer in Ohio
A southern girl returned home after a summer with her grandparents in Ohio. Her friends asked her what she learned on her trip. "Well, they have these men up there who like other men." "Ooh. What are they called?" "They call them gay." "What else did you learn?" "Well, they have these women who like other women." "Ooh. What are they called?" "They call them lesbians." "Did you learn anything else?" "Yes. They have these men who lick women in their most private parts." "Ooh. What do they call them?" "I don't know, but when he was done, I called him 'Precious.'"
Four Big Ten Alumni
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their Alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for Northwestern!" Seeing this, the Buckeye walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.