What's He Up To

Q: How can you tell if a man's playing around?
A: He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, "To whom it may concern..."

Women and Mailboxes

After I have sex, I like my woman like my mailbox. Outside my house!

And Then Some

When her late husband’s will is read out, a widow learns he’s left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushes to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone. “Sorry, lady,” says the stone mason. “I inscribed “Rest in Peace” on your orders. I can’t change it now.” “Okay,” she replies grimly. “Just add, ‘Until We Meet Again.’”