Lottery Winner

A man comes home to his wife after winning the lottery. He asked her, "Honey, if I were to win the lottery, what would you do?" The wife becomes started by her husband's inquiry but replies, "Well I would take half of it and then leave you."
With a huge grin on his face, her husband says, "Perfect! I won ten dollars!"

Guy Notices a Woman

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you," she said politely." "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult," the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

To Keep A Man Interested

Q: What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?
A: Wear perfume that smells like beer.