Peanuts

A boy visits his Grandma who is aging gracefully in her own home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down with his phone while munching on peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.  Eventually, his Grandma wakes up, and her Grandson realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. "I'm so sorry, Mema Chocolate, I've eaten all of your peanuts!"  "That's okay, dearie," the Grandma replied. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't care for them anyway."

Old Magicians

Old magicians never die, they just they just change color.

Locate your Heart

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked exactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast. That night she went to the emergency room with a gun shot in the knee.