Doctor's Notes

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered; "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Waiting for the Bus

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!"
The other woman turned to her and said, "I know! I heard it snoring!"

Rich Aroma

I've just read an article about a 91 year old woman who lives with 130 cats. The smell of piss and shit must be horrendous. I don't know how the cats put up with it.