My Granny's Better!

Boy #1: Hey! Didja know that my grandfather was once face-to-face with a panther?
Boy #2: That's nothing! My granny was once face-to-face with a lion! It was drooling...coming closer...closer...
Boy #1: Gosh! What'd she do?
Boy #2: She moved away from the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rich Aroma

I've just read an article about a 91 year old woman who lives with 130 cats. The smell of piss and shit must be horrendous. I don't know how the cats put up with it.

Wishes Granted

An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat Foo Foo. A fairy appears and says, "I'm here to grant you three wishes." The old woman says, "I wish I was twenty years old and beautiful again." Poof! She is. "Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion." Poof! Done. "And now I wish that Foo Foo was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me." Poof! Suddenly she's in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, "Darling, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"