Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes

This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.  "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.  Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though."  The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked, and pulled, and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.  Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough."  "Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."  The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you!"

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. Little Johnny handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework."

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."
Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

One day a teacher told her students to draw a train on a railway track for homework. The next day when the teacher started checking everybody's book, she came up to Little Johnny. "Show me the homework," she demanded. Little Johnny showed the teacher his notebook with only a picture of railroad tracks. The teacher asked, "Where is the train?" Little Johnny then replied, "You came late so the train went away."

Little Johnny came in from the backyard sobbing. His mother asked "What's the matter?" "Dad was fixing the fence and hit his thumb with the hammer," he said through his tears. "That's not so serious," his mother said, "and a big boy like you shouldn't cry about that. Why didn't you just laugh?" "I did!" cried Johnny.