Johnny in Church

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son." "Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked. "Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service", replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

Little Johnny and the Newborn Baby

Little Johnny's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Johnny's parents were afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby, so his dad pulled Johnny aside before going to the neighbors. He said "Now, son, that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all!" said Little Johnny. At the neighbors home, Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at the newborn's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Johnny." He then said, "Your baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say that he can see good?" The Mother said "Why yes, Johnny, his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." Looking relieved, Johnny said "Well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!"

Ebonics

A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?" Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."