Jokes about Families

Lost and Found

Buried my grandmother in the wrong plot.
That was a grave mistake.

Categories: Word Play Jokes , One-Liner Jokes , Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes)
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Translation

A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam. After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: “Your husband is suffering from severe long-term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or stroke. If you don’t do the following three things, he will surely die. First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner, and don’t burden him with household chores. Third, have sex with him several times a week.” On the way home, the husband asks the wife, “I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?” Wife: “He says you’re gonna die.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous

Darn Candle

On his tour to the U.S., the Pope visited a couple who had been childless for six years, try as they might to have a baby. The Pope promised to light a candle for them at the Vatican.
A decade later, the Pope returned and dropped in on the couple again and found nine children romping around the house.
Congratulating the wife on her fruitfulness, the Pope looked around and asked, "But where is your husband?"
"Jim?" the haggard woman said. "Oh, he went to Rome to blow out that candle!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Jokes about Families , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Pregnancy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous