Christmas Peace

Q: What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A: Silent Night

Lawyer's Daughter

Once, there was a lawyer. This lawyer had a wife and a little girl whom he loved. He made a good living and was pretty satisfied with life. He was surprised when his daughter began avoiding him one day. Goodnight kisses stopped. Hugs were few and far between. She never sat on her father's lap anymore and practically refused to listen to bedtime stories from him. The lawyer began to get more than a little frustrated with this behavior and decided to talk to his daughter about it. He brought it up with her. She wouldn't talk to her father and so she wrote a note to be given to him via her mother. When the lawyer read the note, he was a bit shocked. This is what it read:
"Mindy's dadee sayz that lawyers suk the blood ouwt of aneeone thay come close to. i dont want yu to suk mi blod, so dont come clos to me pleas. thank yu. sophie."

Joined a Nudist Camp

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidentally sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it. A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.