Suck It In

I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon?" "Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can see the numbers!"

Do You Like the Food?

Sign seen in a small restaurant: Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.

Comforting Marge

One day a woman got on a bus and sat with her 4 year old daughter. The whole ride she said, "hold on Marge, hold on, you will make it through Marge, just a little further Marge, just a little further, hold on...." When she got off the another woman told her, "that so nice of you to comfort little Marge." The woman looked puzzled, "no, my daughter's name is Ann, I'm Marge"