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The best jokes and joke writers!

New Prisoner

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

Change

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway. He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

Answering Machine - Money

After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

Floating Television

Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?

A: "Drop it nigga."

Yo Mama - Robbed

Yo momma so small, she got robbed by a gummy bear!