Holiday Jokes - Christmas Jokes

Summer Snow

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: Puddle

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Weather Jokes (So Cold Here Jokes) , Weather Jokes (Season Jokes) , Riddles (Riddles for Kids)
Anonymous

The Perfect Couple

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor?
 
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.
***Women stop here.***
That is the end of the joke. (Men keep scrolling)
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving, and that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Christmas Party Warning

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we're getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Designated Driver Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous