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Blowjob On Heinz
A woman was engaged to get married. She had never had any sexual experience whatsoever. So she asked a couple of her friends what she could do to her husband on their wedding night to really impress him. One of her friends suggested that she give him a blowjob. She asked what a blowjob was, but they were all too embarrassed to tell her. Finally one friend told her to just go home and practice on a ketchup bottle. So she practiced for months. Finally the big night came. They got married, went to the hotel room and she got ready to do her thing. She unzipped his pants, got down on her knees, grabbed his penis in her hand, took a deep breath... and started smacking the tip of it with the palm of her other hand.
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Nerd In Suspense
Q: How can I keep a major nerd in suspense for 24 hours?
A: I'll tell you tomorrow.
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Anger Management
The devil is never angry.
Hell hath no fury.
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