If Radio Shack Made Toasters...

If Radio Shack made toasters, the staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.

Top Ten Reasons For Being English

1. Two World Wars and one World Cup
2. Proper beer
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules for cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
5. Union Jack Underpants
6. You can live in the past and imagine that you're still a world power
7. You can bathe once a week whether you need to or not
8. You can change your underwear once a week whether you need to or not
9. Beats being Scottish
10. Beats being Welsh

Docents

I’m a Docent at a museum, and when I told a group that the fossil they were looking at was 65 million years and 3 weeks old, they asked me where the 3 weeks came from.
I said well it was 65 million years old when I was hired here, and that was 3 weeks ago.