Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral

• Geez, what died in here?
• She looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
• Nice service... where's the keg?
• When did he die... really... hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
• Hey, we're with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we're looking for... oh, never mind.
• Don't look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.
• You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.
• Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.

Grab His Seat

He walked off the bus backwards when he heard someone say, "Let's grab his seat when he gets off."

Blonde Geography

Two blondes are sitting outside on Halloween night looking at the moon. One blonde asks the other, "Which do you think is closer, Florida or the moon?" The other blonde replies, "The moon, silly. You can't see Florida from here!"