Soap Addiction

I had a soap addiction. 
Its okay though I'm clean now.

Girl from Texas

A Mexican,Honduran and a Texan girl are in the same bar.  When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "Our glasses are so cheap in Mexico we don't need to drink with the same one twice."
The Honduran, obviously impressed by this, drinks a beer and throws the glass into the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Honduras, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either."
The Texan girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp and throws the glass into the air. She whips out her 45 and shoots the Mexican and the Honduran. Catching her glass and setting it on the bar, she calls for a refill and says, "In Texas we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice." 

Funeral

A mother driving her two young boys to a funeral, she tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. At the grave site she discovered her explanations weren't as thorough as she'd thought. In a loud voice, her four-year-old asked, "Mom?" "Yes?" "What's in the box?"