Morse Code

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.
Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Yo Mama - PMS

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought she could read minds when she got PMS.

Frank's Thoughts about Life

1. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
2. Life is sexually transmitted.
3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny , and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
9. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
10. ? ?Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.