Cranking

Little Johnny is caught swearing by his teacher. “Johnny, you shouldn’t use that kind of language ,” says the teacher. “Where on earth did you hear such talk?” “My daddy said it,” replies Johnny. “Well, that doesn’t matter,” explains the teacher. “You don’t even know what it means.” “I do, too!” replies Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Still Together

One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."

Countdown

Q: Did you hear what happened to the human cannonball?
A: He got fired !