Q: Why can't you trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
Guide To Science
Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Q: How much do dead batteries cost?
A: Nothing. They're free of charge!
Q: Why is Neil deGrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?
A: On the day he was born he escaped a black hole.
Q: What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?
A: That was your fault.