We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Quantum in Bar

A quantum particle walks into two bars. In one, he has a few drinks, becomes the life of the party, gets lucky and has a splendid time. In the other he drinks too much, picks a fight with the wrong company and ends up beaten to half of his life.

The next day, he happens to meet an old buddy. After some very small talk, his friend asks, "Hey, so what did you do last night?"

The particle, bruised and beaten shouts, "DAMN IT MAN did you have to ask!!"

Shifty -Riddles

Q: Why can't you trust atoms?

A: Because they make up everything.

Dead Batteries

Q: How much do dead batteries cost?

A: Nothing. They're free of charge!

Guide To Science

Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Plate Talk

Q: What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

A: That was your fault.