Funny Thoughts

Time Out

The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar)
Anonymous

Translation

A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam. After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: “Your husband is suffering from severe long-term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or stroke. If you don’t do the following three things, he will surely die. First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner, and don’t burden him with household chores. Third, have sex with him several times a week.” On the way home, the husband asks the wife, “I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?” Wife: “He says you’re gonna die.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous

Snooker

As I was trying to make a difficult shot the referee asked if I needed a rest.
Nice of him, but snooker isn't that strenuous.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , One-Liner Jokes
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Written By: KielPhillips