Son-In-Law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a money making organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
Good Idea
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
State your Name
A guy gets pulled over for speeding and the officer said, "What's your name son?" He replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The Officer looked at him suspiciously and said, “Oh, do you have a stutter?”
The guy replied, “No sir, my dad has a stutter and the guy who filled out my birth certificate is an asshole.”
The Best Memory.
Three guys are debating who has the best memory. First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class." Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School!" Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing... I can remember going to the senior prom with my father, and coming home with my mother!"
The good, bad, and ugly!
- Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
- Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
- Ugly: You're in them
- Good: Your husband understands fashion
- Bad: He's a cross-dresser
- Ugly: He looks better than you
- Good: Your son's finally maturing
- Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
- Ugly: So are you
- Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
- Bad: She keeps interrupting
- Ugly: With corrections
- Good: Your wife's not talking to you
- Bad: She wants a divorce
- Ugly: She's a lawyer
- Good: The postman's early
- Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
- Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
- Good: Your daughter got a new job
- Bad: As a hooker
- Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
- Way ugly: She makes more money than you do
- Good: You're son is dating someone new
- Bad: It's another man
- Ugly: He's you're best friend
- Good: You're wife is pregnant
- Bad: It's triplets
- Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
