Jokes about Families - Father Jokes

Teacher's Note

Tommy's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Tommy seems to be a very bright boy but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , School Jokes (Elementary School Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Baby's First Words

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, "Are you my dad?". The doctor says, "No, I am your doctor!"  With that, the baby pops right back inside. "Damn!", says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. "Are you my dad?", asks the baby. "No, I am your doctor.", he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother's womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, "Nurse, get that baby's father in here right away--we may have a situation on our hands!"   Moments later the baby's father is in the delivery room, and the baby's head once again pops out. "Are you my dad?", the baby asks of the father. The father replies, "Yes, little baby, I am your father!" The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger-- "How do you like that?"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Profession Jokes (OBGYN Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Daughter's Eighteenth Birthday

I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like.. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy, and to watch the expression on your face."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Money Jokes (Money Owed Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous