Jokes about Families - Brother Jokes

In My House

After hearing a Bible lesson in Sunday school about miracles, a little girl went up to her Sunday school teacher. "In my house," said the little girl, "when handwriting appears on the wall it's not a miracle, it's the work of my little brother."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Religion Jokes
Anonymous

Sibling Stories

From Matt Groening's Big Book Of Hell, here are "Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me."
 
The Sleeping Alligator Story

Older Bro/Sis: See this? He isn't stuffed, ya know. He's sleeping.
You: Really?
Bro/Sis: If you don't believe me, why don't you put your finger in his mouth?
 
The Boy-Trap Warning

Bro/Sis: Inside my closet, there's a little door, and behind that little door, there's a boogey-man, and he's set traps in there, little boy traps.
You: Really?
Bro/Sis: And they're baited with CUSTARD.
You: Uh-oh.
 
The Alphabet Trick

Bro/Sis: You can come up in the tree fort if you can recite the whole alphabet. You: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y and Z.
Bro/Sis: Wrong. Scram.
 
The Yes-And-No Mind Puzzler

Bro/Sis: Yes means no and no means yes. Do you want me to hit you?
You: Yes! No! Yes! No! Help!
 
The Lure Of New Toys

Bro/Sis: There's some new toys for you down in the basement. You should go down there.
You: But last time you shut the door and turned off the lights.
Bro/Sis: This time we won't.
 
The Snowflake Story

Bro/Sis: Well I'll be!! Identical snowflakes!!
You: Lemme see!! Lemme see!!
Bro/Sis: Too late. They melted.
 
The Movie Switcheroo

You: Hey!! This isn't Bambi!!
Bro/Sis: This's better'n Bambi.
 
The Elf

Bro/Sis: I'd like you to meet
Tom. You: I don't see anybody.
Bro/Sis: Tom's invisible.
You: Oh sure.
Bro/Sis: He's an elf. If you're nice to him, he'll give you three wishes.
You: Hi, Tom.
 
The family reunion, twenty years later...

Bro/Sis: I don't remember doing any of that stuff to you.
Other Bro/Sis: Me neither.

Categories: Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Redneck Datin'

While out on a date, two brothers commence to arguing over who gets to kiss their date first. Finally, unable to stand the bickering any longer, their mother replies, "Relax boys, There's enough of me to go around."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Incest Jokes) , Redneck Jokes (Hillbilly Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
Copyright © 2014 - Mick Paul - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: MickD