Proud Father

Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He maka Five million dollar a year. Hesa Sports Mechanic!" Paolo, his friend asks: "What's a Sports Mechanic?" Lorenzo replies: "Wella, he can fixa everytin. He fixa da horseraces, he fixa da boxin matcha..."

Asian Bar

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar. He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender, "I'll have a pint please." The bartender looks him up and down, laughs and says, "You're way too young!"
The boy replied, "How you know my name?"

Ebonics Christmas

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus an' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin', Dey wuz sleepin' good. We hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause be bringin' our check. All o'de fambily wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey heads. Passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw when I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!" I looked out thru de bars what covered my doe 'spectin' de sheriff wif a warrent fo sho and what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon pulled by giant warf rats! Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white, but looks liken us bros gets a black Sanna dis nite. Faster dan a Po'lees car my home boy he came he whupped on dem warf rats an' called dem by name! On Leroy, on 'Lonzo, and on Willie Lee, on Saphire, on Chenequa, dey wuz a site to see! As he landed dat watta' mellon out der in da skreet I knowed it was fo' sho' da damndest site I ebber did see. He didn't go down no chimbley he picked da' lock on my doe, an' I sez to myself, "Shit! he done dis befoe!" He had dis big bag full of prezents I 'xpect wid Air Jordans and fake gold to wear roun' my neck. But he not leevin no prezents, jus stealing my shit, got my drugs, got my guns, got my crack pipe, still lit! Wit my stuff in de bag out da window he flewed I woudda' tried to cut him, but he stoled my 'nife too! He jumped on dat wadda' mellon an' whipped out a switch, he wuz gone in a seccon', dat sum of a bitch! Next year I be hopin' anutha Sanna we git Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause jus' ain't werf a shit! Murry Crimmus