Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Never having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder .'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'

French Runs

Q: Why don't French people ever win running races?
A: Whenever the starting pistol goes off they raise their hands and surrender.
 

Short legged girl

Q:  What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
A:  Eileen
Q:  What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other?
A:  Irene