Silent but Deadly

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

Bubble Bath

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner

Poop Definitions

Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.
Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done.
Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling.
Corn Poop: Self-explanatory.
Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell.
The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake will do it.