Rich Aroma

I've just read an article about a 91 year old woman who lives with 130 cats. The smell of piss and shit must be horrendous. I don't know how the cats put up with it.

Sister Ann

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little Fart!"

Men & Public Toilets

Ok guys, own up...which one are you?

• Excitable Type - Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
• Sociable Type - Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.
• Timid Type - Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.
• Nosy Type - Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.
• Indifferent Type - All urinals being occupied, uses sink.
• Clever Type - Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.
• Vain Type - Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.
• Absent-Minded Type - Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.
• Worried Type - Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.
• Disgruntled Type - Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.
• Conceited Type - Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.
• Sneaky Type - Drops silent farts while peeing and looks at the guy next to him.
• Sloppy Type - Pees on shoe, walks out with flies undone, adjusts himself ten minutes later.
• Learned Type - Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.
• Childish Type - Watches bubbles at bottom of the urinal while peeing.
• Efficient Type - Waits until has to poop and does both at the same time.
• Strong Type - Bangs tool on side of urinal to remove drops.
• Drunken Type - Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one away, and pees in trousers.
• Embarrassed Type - Covers tool with both hands and pees through fingers.
• Cock-Eyed Type - Stands in one cubical and pees in next one.