Lice

Q: What do you call lice on a bald man's head?
A: Homeless.

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.

Punctuation Options

A teacher said to her little student Suzie, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzie thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun, period, fun, period, fun, no period, worry worry worry!"