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The best jokes and joke writers!

Coronavirus Market Crash

Q: Why was the Coronavirus stock market crash worse than a divorce?

A: You loose half of your money and your wife is still there.

Kroger Scam

Don't let the Kroger grocery store take your temperature before shopping.  It is a SCAM! The device actually erases your memory.  Just yesterday I went to the store to pick up bread and eggs and came home with Snickers and Ice Cream!

Covid 19 Reduction

A middle manager has a zoom call with his boss Monday morning. He's told that the Covid 19 quarantine is hurting business and he has to furlough one of his employees. He's really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it doesn't seem fair. So for the next 2 days he racks his brain trying to figure out who to let go. On Tuesday afternoon he sees Jack and Jill standing six feet apart having a discussion. He says to himself, "Okay it's going to be one of them." He spends the next few days scrutinizing what each of them does. Everything is equal. Productivity. Time off. Reports. Everything. He's in a quandary. It's Friday afternoon and he knows his going to have to think about this all weekend. Everyone has left the office except Jack and Jill, who are getting ready to leave. Jill comes over to say goodbye. "Have a good weekend boss. Hey you don't look so good - do you have the virus?" He looks at her and says "No, but I'm having a tough time here. I can't decide if I should lay you or Jack off." And she looks at him and says  "Well, I have to catch a bus, so I suggest you jack off."

Covid-19 Entitlement

Q: Has Covid-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?
A: You may be entitled to condensation.

Go Mexico

I’m surprised the Corona virus started in China

I thought it would have started in Mexico.