Monster Ache

Q: Why was Frankenstein's Monster always groaning?
A: Wouldn't you if there was a bolt through your neck?

Punctuation Options

A teacher said to her little student Suzie, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzie thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun, period, fun, period, fun, no period, worry worry worry!"

Four Expectant Fathers

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!" "What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!" Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets. "Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation." An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!" After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven...."