Tombstone

Found in a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me, for not rising

The Irishman at Auschwitz

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar.  Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is.
Mick says, "Well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the Auschwitz concentration camp."
Patrick says, "That's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick replies, "No, he fell out of the machine gun tower."

Found Dead

Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.