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The best jokes and joke writers!

Chem RIP

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: Barium

I Wanna Be A Commie

A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the checkup, the doctor tells the man he has bad news. "You only have six months to live." The man sits for a while thinking, and then says, "There's only one thing I can do, I'm going to become a Communist." The doctor asks, "You've been a patriotic American all your life, why are you going to become a Communist now?" The man says, "Better one of them should die than one of us!"

Skeleton Kilt

Q: Which skeleton wears a kilt?

A: Boney Prince Charlie!

Dead Babies

Q: What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?

A: Dead babies.. because you can use a pitchfork.

Wedding Tombstones

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"