Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Aggie, Longhorn and Bug Eater

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go. The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go. The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words. "I think if you plug the chair in, it'll work better."

Categories: School Jokes (College Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Anonymous

Know For Sure

There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Golf

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.  The other three gathered around him and asked, "Whats wrong?" Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."  One of his buddies asked,  "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"  Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole!"  "Oh my God", the other golfers said, "That must have been horrible!".  "Horrible? You think it`s horrible?"  Bob cried in disbelief; "It was worse than that!!!!  Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice...

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous