Cup of Coffee

There was this 8 year old kid who lived with his 82 year old grandma. He had been living with her for some time, and he thought, that with all the work she does, he could at least make her a cup of coffee in the morning. So he woke up early one day, and made a cup of coffee and brought it to his grandma. She took one drink of it and died instantly. He called 911, and the paramedics rushed over there. While examining the grandma, one of the paramedics pulls out a little plastic green soldier from her throat. After the paramedic learns that the kid made her coffee and put that soldier in there, of course, the first question is "why". The kid answered, "Grandma always said, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'!"

Four Men Learning English

There once was four men all from foreign countries, and none of them spoke a hint of english. The first man liked to listen to the opera and learned to sing, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The second guy got a job at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!" The third guy got a job at a candy store and learned to say, "Goody, goody gum drops!" And the fourth man was quite lazy and sat in front of the TV all day and learned to say, "Plug it in, plug it in!" off the commercial. One day the four friends were walking down the road, when they come across a dead woman laying on the side walk, a police officer runs up to them and asks, "Do you know who killed this woman?" The first man then sang, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The police man then continues, "What did ya kill er with?' And the second man replied, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" The police man, then asked, "You're goin to jail!" and the third man said, "Goody, goody gum drops!"and then the police officer threatened, "We're going put you in the electric chair!" and the third, and laziest man replied, "Plug it in, plug it in!"

Recalled Christmas Toys

• Broken Bag-O-Glass
• Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
• Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake Oven and Cookbook
• Timothy McVays home Chemistry set
• Switchblade Barney
• Pork-n-Beany Babies
• Make Your Own Moonshine Kit
• Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)