Dark Humor Jokes

Q: Why is it a bad idea to re-educate pedophiles?

A: Because we would have to send them back to school.

I've been talking to a 13 year old girl for about 2 weeks now.

We've been texting a lot lately and she just told me she's an undercover cop.  That's quite impressive for her age.

Q: Who did Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?

A: Two 5 year olds.

A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He's stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: "You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in hell of meeting god?" "Fuck God... I'm after the baby Jesus."

A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."