Chuck Norris Swimming

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, He doesn't get wet... The water gets Chuck Norris.

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum. "It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth," said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone."

Solve the Mystery

Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn't have one, the pope has one but doesn't use it, Clinton uses his all the time, Mickey Mouse has an unusual one, George Burns' was hot, Liberace NEVER used his on women, Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his, we never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
A last name....... Were you thinking of something else?