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The best jokes and joke writers!

Skin Tight

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" "Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."

Spooky Drive

Happy and on the way home from the Halloween party, I said to myself, “Don, everything is coming your way!”

Just then I realized that I was in the wrong lane.

Two People

Two people walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

Duck in a Bar

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here." The duck says, "I'll pay you $20." "Your money isn't good here." "Then put it on my bill."

Men And Pigs

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.