Bar Jokes

Men And Pigs

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Categories: Animal Jokes (Pig Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Riddles , Word Play Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Spooky Drive

Happy and on the way home from the Halloween party, I said to myself, “Don, everything is coming your way!”
Just then I realized that I was in the wrong lane.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (Halloween Jokes)
Anonymous

Sneak Home

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' ...and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Bar Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous