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The best jokes and joke writers!

No One Understands

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Country Tunes

  • Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
  • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  • How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life!
  • Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling!
  • Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
  • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  • I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
  • I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
  • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
  • My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  • Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
  • She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

Viola Fanclub

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

The Great Invasion

A young English woman, Polly Martin, met and fell in love with a Yank during WWII. He was a reporter and battlefield artist attached to the military. His name was Wally Woodword and whenever there was any battlefield action Wally would make quick sketches on the front lines which he would later turn into proper drawings from which he wrote his reports. Now, Polly and her friend Susan worked for the Ministry of Defense as did many young English women and the department they worked in was one that allowed them to know a lot of interesting information - including the exact date of the Normandy Invasion. The day before the invasion Polly was telling Susan that she planned to spirit her reporter boyfriend away next day and take him on a picnic out in the country. "But, you can't do that," Susan replied. "Why not?" Her friend asked. "Polly, Wally doodles all D-Day!"

Students

Q: What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

A: A philosophy student asks you why you want fries with your burger.