What's that sound?

A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commemorative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper. She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is. The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."

Bandstand

Q: How do you make a bandstand?
A: Take away their chairs!

Trumpeter Greetings

Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I'm better than you."