Soldiers in Heaven

Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"
"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"
"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards."
"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

Yo Mama - Sleeps

Yo Mama is so fat that when she sleeps around the house, she sleeps AROUND the house.

You Know You're Fat

You know you're getting fat when you say you're fat in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.