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Appearance Jokes
Yo Mama - Tears
Yo mama so ugly, when she cries, the tears run down her back.
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Player's Diet
Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?
Player: I finished it in three days!
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Mandatory Necktie
A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."
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