Great News

This 55- year- old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed, laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous; what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got the results of my annual physical and my doctor said I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 55-year-old ass?" She says, "Your name never came up!"

Your Teeth

Your teeth are so big when you sneeze you bite your chest.

Act Your Age

A 6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class. His teacher looked at him and said, ''Act your age, not your shoe size.'' The boy looks down at his size 14 shoes, then says, ''But they're the same.''