Blonde and Horse Brain Cells

Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: So they don't crap on the street during parades!

It's The Carburetor

An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him. Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."

A Nun's Ass

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race. But then she realized that they cost way too much, so instead, she bought a donkey. The next day, she enters it into a contest and it comes in third. The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.'' The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first. The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.'' The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race. The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price. The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''