A Nun's Ass

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race. But then she realized that they cost way too much, so instead, she bought a donkey. The next day, she enters it into a contest and it comes in third. The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.'' The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first. The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.'' The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race. The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price. The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''

Horsing Around

Q: What is a horses favorite part of a party?
A: The MAIN event!

Pastor and the Horse

A Pastor was walking past a pet shop one day when he noticed a sign in the window: "Christian Horse for Sale."  Being that the Pastor owned a large ranch, he was immediately interested, and went into the shop. The owner took the Pastor out to the back, where he saw a beautiful Arabian stallion. He agreed to allow the Pastor to take a "test run." The Pastor grabbed the reins. "giddyap." The horse ignored him. "no, no," counseled the owner. This is a Christian horse. If you want him to move, you must say, "Praise the Lord!" The Pastor did as he was told, and the horse started off on a leisurely walk. However, he soon found that the horse would not stop. "He won't answer to 'Whoa', said the owner. It's "Amen." The Pastor decided that he liked the horse, so he bought him and took him home to his ranch in the country. He saddled the horse up again, said, "Praise the Lord," and went riding into the countryside.Suddenly, the horse saw a rattlesnake crossing the path. Frightened, he reared and bolted straight for a cliff . The Pastor cried "whoa!" but the horse only ran faster. In vain, he tried one word after another. Finally, he remembered the correct command and screamed "AMEN!!!!!" just as the horse approached the edge of the cliff. The Pastor was so thrilled that his life had been saved that he raised his hands to the sky and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!"