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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hey Lady...

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

Irishman Went to a Pet Shop

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99," replied the shop owner.  "Give us the lot," said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, then he put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur," he replied, "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping!"

Mallard Tricks

Q: Why are mallards good at dodge ball?

A: They can duck.

Bird Relief

Q: What sound does a Pterodactyl make when it goes to the bathroom?

A: None because the 'P' is silent.

Always Out Of Breath

Q: Which bird is always out of breath?

A: A puffin!