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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bird Time

Q: What do birds do on their free time?

A: They check their Twitter account.

Elvis Bite

Q: What did Elvis say after he was bitten my a vampire?

A: Fang you, Fang you very much!

Robins

Q: What is the definition of a Robin?

A: A bird who steals!

Parrot Sounds

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot.

Penguin Field Trip

A bus driver on his route sees a van from the zoo stranded on the side of the road. The zoo worker offers the bus driver $100 to help him deliver two dozen penguins. The bus driver agrees and loads the penguins on the bus. An hour later, the zoo worker gets his van fixed and heads to the zoo. On the road, he sees the bus driver and the penguins driving in the opposite direction. He catches up to the bus and pulls them over. The zoo worker yells, "I gave you a $100 to take the penguins to the zoo for me. Why are you still driving them around?" "Calm down," the bus driver says, "I did take the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies."