Alcohol Jokes

You're in Big Trouble

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Categories: Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Criminal Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

What Is A Breathalyzer?

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool."Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drank way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years and years now!"

Categories: Bar Jokes , Alcohol Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bouncer Trouble

“If the bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?”

Categories: Bar Jokes (Bar Fight Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Funny Thoughts
Anonymous